I Heart Her

I love her shirt! Peter Pan is my favorite.  I've been eying it for a really long time since I've seen it at target.  But those Disney shirts are expensive.  I went to Target the other day (and today) and it was on sale for  like three dollars!  Sweet!  And she is dang cute in it.  Whitney loves to go shopping with me and so far she stays out of trouble. 

Tonight I asked Whitney if she was hungry.  She had been off her feeding pump for the four hours.  She said "eat" and walked towards the pantry and I was so excited she was hungry and wanted to eat.  I thought she'd want a cracker or something.  But she came back to me, turned around, and said "back pack on." Sigh.  So we went upstairs and hooked her up to her feeds and she went to bed.  It just makes me so sad that she doesn't want any real food to eat. Also sad that she knows her back pack feeds her.  I didn't realize that she knew her back pack is what feeds her when she's hungry.  Although Whitney is getting much better about sitting at the table with us for dinner.  She even put the fork to her tongue several times with some sauce on it.  This evening she held a gold fish for like an hour and would occasionally lick it.  Even though she is so hungry, she can't eat.  She's scared to eat.  She doesn't know how to eat.  But that's okay for now because she is growing big and strong and smart on formula, or as she says it "FOR LALA!"   I know one day she will learn how to eat by mouth but I also know it's a really long and slow process.  At least she enjoys brushing her teeth!  Which is a huge deal for a kid with oral aversions! 

She breaks my heart, melts my heart, and she makes my heart full and whole.  She is just so dang cute.   I love my daughter more today than yesterday, but not as much as tomorrow.